I Graduate NEXT WEEK!

On Life and Death

Recently I met a woman who was 101 years old. Each time I was in her presence, I felt as if I should be bowing instead of just saying hi. I had a great grandmother (Grandma Great) who lived to be 101. We were pretty good buds and I have a few very endearing memories of her even though she passed away when I was only four years old; I'd like to think that my love for the elderly began with her (which is one of the main driving reasons for me to choose nursing as a profession). Until I recently met this 101 year old woman, I never realized just how many years that is. It astounds me to think how much she has lived through: major historical turning points, pain, joy, and experiences galore!

One can only imagine...

If she were born 101 years ago, that means she was born in 1911. She would have been a teenager in the roaring 20s. She would have been old enough at the time to remember women gaining the right to vote in the United States. She probably would have married at around the start of the Great Depression and began raising her children around then. She would have had teenagers during WWII, possibly been grateful that they weren't old enough to go away to war but also nervous that the war would continue when they were old enough. Around 1950, she would have been sending her kids out into the world. Watching them go to college, get married, bless her with grandchildren, make poor choices, and learn how to survive in the world. Maybe some of her worst fears were realized when one of her children went to war in Korea. She probably watched in wonderment as man walked on the moon for the first time 1969. In the mid-seventies, she would reach retirement age. She would welcome more grandbabies into her family, and then begin to welcome great-grandbabies. She would also begin losing those she loved to the other side, ones that she may have expected to outlive her: her husband, dear friends, and then even probably her own children. Great-great-grandchildren would probably be welcomed to earth. (By this time, she probably would be having a difficult time keeping track of her own posterity.) Life would continue and maybe she would possibly wonder, 'Why haven't I been called home yet?' Did she feel blessed to live so long? Or did she want the pain, sorrow, and hardship that inevitably comes along with this earth life to end?

This is all very generalized and brief...think of everything that really could be experienced in that amount of time. It absolutely astounds me.

Death, at least of those closest to me, has left me alone for much of my life. My earliest experience I remember with death was my Grandma Great and, as I said earlier, we were pretty close. I have a few very poignant memories of her, especially for a four-year-old. I remember she loved to watch conference (which I didn't understand at the time)--she would re-watch taped sessions much of the day. I remember giving her Fruit Stripe Gum (known at the time by me as Zebra Gum since I couldn't read) and after a few minutes, she'd stop chewing so I'd offer her another piece. And then another. And another. Finally, my grandma (who was Grandma Great's caregiver) realized what was happening (the gum was just sticking to her mouth) and that was the end of that. My Grandma Great was also the person who taught me to pray, at least as far as I remember. We had a "sleep over" one night and I remember her teaching me to kneel down at the side of the bed and pray before we went to sleep. I remember praying for her on the other side after she passed away.

When I was 11 years old, death touched me again--my maternal grandmother was hit by a car and killed. I don't really remember what emotions I experienced at the time, I remember it sort of as matter of fact. In high school, two deaths hit me hard: a kid who committed suicide who was in some of my classes, and my cat Mocos who was hit by a car. With both of these deaths, I remember feeling very angry as if some great injustice had been done.

Lately, I have a much more positive view of death. True, death is a very sad and difficult thing for those left here on earth but to the soul departing, I can only imagine that it is an indescribably glorious experience. I often think about what the day will be like when I go home to be reunited with my maker. I can only imagine that it will be a wonderful day (provided I am prepared). This life is like camping--it's fun and all but going home is always greatly anticipated. The difference in this life is that we think what we have is wonderful (which is is) but we forget that what we have to look forward to is SO much better.

At the start of this year, two people I knew who were in their 20s passed away unexpectedly. It was hard and I still can't believe they are gone but I am happy for them because they have moved onto something better. Their passing made me realize that we must always be prepared to be called home because we never know when it is going to happen. It also made me realize that we need to truly appreciate those who are with us now because we never know when our time will be cut short. (This is much easier said than done, by the way.)

My work and life experiences have made me realize that there are many things worse than death. I suspect that my thoughts on death will continue to evolve and deepen as I experience more of this life and embark on my new nursing career.

I can't wait to go home but I'm definitely not ready yet!

Trials

Lately I've been thinking a lot about trials and have come to the knowledge that God will never let us experience a trial that we can't handle. Think of how AMAZING that is! Sometimes we look around at others, see what they're going through, and think: that is SO tough, I really hope I don't have to go through that! We then get really nervous that we might have the same trial in store for us but if we realize that we can handle whatever comes our way, this will bring us a great deal of peace no matter what we have in store. We probably won't have that trial that we were fearing, but if we do, we can handle it. And what's even better? The fact that trials only make us better--without them we stay just the way we are. So, come what may! I will do my best to love it while knowing that I can handle it and that it's worth it.

Preparing to Graduate

As you may or may not know, I am in the last semester of my nursing program which means this May, I will graduate which brings a mix of many feelings. I am so excited to not have homework and clinicals. I'm excited for my finances to stop heading in the negative direction. And I'm excited to take on new challenges as a nurse. But challenges are challenges. Nurses have so much to know and carry ample responsibility. I am positively terrified I am going to screw up and kill someone right off the bat.

Change always comes with hardship. It's almost always scary but exciting at the same time. I'm excited and nervous at the same time!

After graduating, I will cram my little butt off and take (and hopefully PASS) the NCLEX. (The NCLEX is the big test that nurses have to pass to become licensed.) After passing, the next step is to get hired somewhere! I would love to stay on the floor that I currently work on so hopefully there will be an open position around the right time (and that my manager still likes me, :P). And then it's just work, work, and more work to make headway on student loans.

In the fall, I will head back to school at UVU since Provo College only offers an associate's degree in nursing--I want a bachelor's. For the fall, I will be taking pathophysiology, statistics, and possibly another nursing related elective or two. Patho and stats are both beasts of classes and it's going to be so strange to go back to non-nursing classes. I am going to have to revive study skills that I haven't used in years since the way nursing tests are written are completely different than regular old GE-type tests. It will be interesting. Right now I'm so burned out on school that the thought of doing more school sends thoughts of utter revulsion into my very core. But I think the break over the summer will be just what I need and I'll be ready to take a crack at it full-force after those four months. I hope to be accepted in UVU's nursing program beginning in January.

Besides the career plans for the summer, other plans are beginning to fall into place. For one thing, Janessa and I are moving to a cute little apartment about a mile away. The apartments are adorable, we'll have a lounge and a hot tub and pool (which will be great for Awesomeness), and we're both excited to meet new people and continue to learn and grow. I also just auditioned for a Spanish Fork Community Theater's production of My Fair Lady. If I make it, that will take a good deal of my time. I'm excited though. It will be hard to balance with work, but it will be a great creative release at the end of the day (even though I will probably be getting up early again the next morning to head off to work). There are also a couple of possible road trips in the works that will be really fun.

For now, I'll just keep pushing through all this senioritis I've got going on!

Back to the Stage!

In December, I went to quite a few Christmas plays...which really made me miss being onstage. Coincidentally, almost the perfect opportunity presented itself shortly after. One of my friends who I've done a lot of theatre with was casting for a play he's directing. So I auditioned, somewhat cautiously knowing how pressed for time I usually am. It turned out there couldn't have been a better play to audition for: the rehearsal time was short, the play was simple, and I'm only in the first act so if I need to, I can be done before 8:30 on show nights.

The play is called Marriage Go-Round and it consists of two short plays, one for each act. The first act and the one I'm in is called Why I am a Bachelor. Basically, it's a bachelor lecturing as to why being a bachelor is the only way to go. He demonstrates his point by showing scenes from a couple's life: some from when they are dating/engaged and are all mushy brained and some from when they are married and arguing. I originally started with the part of The Girl (you'll see how she fits in if you come, I don't want to spoil it) but ended up with the role of the female in the couple: Heidi. It's crazy, scary, fun, and exhilarating all at once to have a leading role.

Anyway, I really hope you'll all come see it! It runs every Friday, Saturday, and Monday evening at 7:30 at Valley Center Playhouse (780 N. 200 E., Lindon, UT) until February 13th. Tickets are $7 for general admission; students, kids, and seniors are only $5. They also have family and group discounts.

Adventuring: Take 3

Today Chelsea and I went on another adventuring trek. This time we brought her friend Carlee and my friend Caleb along. We started out early in the day so we would have plenty of time unlike last time.

We started out at the north end of the Utah Lake and drove south along the highway on the west side of the water because the first item on our list was to see what was directly on the other side of the lake. Even though I have lived in the valley my whole life, I’ve never been to the other side of the lake and the curiosity was killing me. We learned that there isn’t much to see. Actually, there isn’t much there period. It was fun to see Saratoga Springs though.

The next item on our to-see list was the ghost town of Dividend, UT. Dividend is an old mining town nestled up in the hills along a small, winding highway. The only people we encountered there were men employed by a drilling company who were there to work; they didn’t bother us though and we were free to explore. We were able to explore a few cement building remnants and some other remains of civilization. There was quite a bit to see.

After Dividend, we continued along the highway up into the hills. We encountered quite a few dirt roads that looked promising to explore but with the higher altitude, we also ran across snow so we weren’t able to go very far on any of them.

The road came out into Eureka and we found a gas station (a different, larger, and friendlier one than last time) and stopped for lunch (there weren’t any restaurants or fast food chains). After eating, we explored the city of Eureka. The main drag through town along the highway was lined by a few businesses and historic, mostly vacant, storefronts. Beyond the main drag, haphazardly laid streets ran with a combination of houses, churches, and trailers sprawled out along them. We started with the store fronts. All but one sat vacant except for storage. One almost looked to be set up like a museum so we talked to the only person we saw—a woman who worked at the only open shop, an antique store, who sat out front of her shop on a smoke break—to find out more information. She told us all of the buildings were owned by a man named Billy. Billy was planning to fix up the shops and open them for business, but he had a disagreement with Eureka’s mayor and is no longer allowed to renovate anything. The woman we met introduced us to Billy and he was super friendly. He gladly gave us a personal tour of a couple of his shops and told us many stories from his life, Eureka’s history, and about his stuff. One of his hobbies was exploring and he was also quite crafty. He’d taken things like an interesting tree trunk and carved it into a lighthouse with a race car track spiraling around the outside or some Native American artifact and found a beautiful way to display it. He was also a painter and some of his original artwork was displayed in one of the storefronts. Among the objects that weren't crafted by him included pictures of Eureka during its glory days and other antiques such as a fortune telling scale, an old bank counting machine, sleds, skates, a baby carriage, and many other treasures. One of the store fronts even had a water well right in the middle of the floor. During prohibition, it was a bar and the well was used to lower alcohol (brewed behind the false wall at the back of the building) into when the police came. We spent a good deal of time seeing what Billy had to show—it was so fascinating! It was more than we could have even hoped to come across!

After exploring the downtown, we perused the rest of Eureka. There was an abandoned house behind the store fronts that had a front door that hung open and we were actually able to explore the interior. On the south end of town, we explored some sort of blasting/mining site and also the Eureka cemetery. Overall, it was fascinating to see the different lifestyle of the area.

Further along the highway, we took the turnoff to Mammoth, UT: a semi-ghost town just minutes south of Eureka. Mammoth was a small cluster of houses and trailers, many of which were abandoned. We explored a trailer with a collapsed roof which was interesting but, because the town was so small, it was obvious we were outsiders and basically the whole town knew we were there (you could easily see from one end of town to the other). By the time we stopped at the next house, a resident of the city got upset at us so we left. Of particular interest in this town for me was the site of the Tintic Hospital. The hospital no longer stands, but a monument and this plaque mark the spot:

The next town we hit was Silver City. We were getting pretty lazy by this point though so we didn’t get out of the car but just observed from the vehicle and then continued north along the highway. We stopped in the town of Faust briefly to see a marker for one of the Pony Express and then in Rush Valley just to see what was there.

Our final stop on our list was Ophir. I was expecting another ghost town but was surprised to actually find more of a once-ghost-town-now-summer-tourist-trap/vacation-spot. Everything was closed and we were running out of time and daylight so we left for home with plans to visit again next summer. It looked like a quaint little town to visit with quite a few fun things to do.

Adventuring to Warm Springs

My friend Chelsea and I decided to explore/go off-roading. Our first trip wasn’t very successful since we began our questing so late in the year. We went exploring in Provo Canyon and, seeing as it was early November, many roads had been gated, especially in such a large, well-known, and well-traveled canyon. It was fun though; we saw a lot of roads that looked promising, explored the quaint little cluster of houses outside of Vivian Park, and got in lots of girl talk.

Our second trip was much more successful—we only wished we had more time! We set out to explore the ghost towns around the Eureka, Utah area with one of Chelsea’s friends named Brandon. We went south on I-15, getting off at the first Santaquin exit onto Main Street and just followed that West. Just before we hit Goshen, we saw the cement remains of what looked to be some sort of abandoned mine or processing plant. We drove towards it to see how close we could get and soon turned onto a dirt road. Our passage, at least by car, was soon halted due to a gate across the road. The area, labeled Warm Springs, was closed due to high levels of heavy metals such as iron. We ventured on foot (taking note to avoid the water) and were able to reach the remains. The walk didn’t take too long and it was worth it! The cement shell was incredibly fun to explore and climb on and it took us probably close to an hour before we reached the top of the structure. (The building was built on the side of a hill.) 

On our way back to the car, we noticed a bird/duck on the other side of one of the pond that, although he was on the edge of the water, could not manage to get himself out. Brandon and Chelsea were able to cross to the other side of the pond over a river and approach the bird. As I watched from across the water, I was amazed to see that the bird didn't even panic as they approached and then picked up the bird. It was obvious that this was one ill bird. When Brandon and Chelsea crossed back over the where I was, they reported that there was another bird lying on the ground dead. It was obvious that the bird we were attempting to rescue couldn’t move his legs so we thought that the heavy metals in the water may have poisoned him. Brandon sacrificed his shirt to wrap the bird in and we took him with us. We had no plan in mind and honestly, it’s not something I would have ever done myself. It was going to die anyway though so we thought we may as well try to do something.

We continued on our travels toward Eureka to continue our adventures/find a gas station to clean ourselves up at. We found two in Goshen…but they were closed. One of them was worth stopping for a picture:

There was also a gorgeous sunset:

The first gas station (that was actually open and operating) we encountered was in Eureka. We went in to use the facilities but a sign read: “Customers Only”. We weren’t sure if we really needed a bathroom and after much indecision, Brandon bought a couple of (overpriced) items and we washed up.

(The bird was just chilling in my car on the passenger’s seat the whole time.)

By the time we came out of the gas station, the last bit of light was fading into night and we had to terminate our travels and return to civilization.

We took the bird back to Brandon’s roommate, Steve, (who wants to be a veterinarian and has worked at a veterinarian’s clinic) who took a look at the bird and found a puncture wound on the bird’s back behind his left wing. We guessed it to be the result of a small bullet or pellet. We also confirmed that the bird had no control over its legs but I observed that he could still wag his tail. Very intriguing. We borrowed a roommate’s stethoscope and listened to his heart. I learned that birds lungs don’t work in the same way as humans so it is very heard to hear lung sounds. I, of course, only think through medical problems in terms of humans and wanted to listen for a pneumothorax. I think I remember Steve saying that a pneumothorax can’t occur in birds due to their different respiratory system.

After finding the puncture wound, we tried to find someplace we could take the bird. We found a wildlife rehabilitator but both of their numbers on their website appeared not to work. (Although this could have been due to the fact that it was a Saturday night.) We considered keeping the bird at my house until Monday and then trying to take him in, but then the concern of infection was brought up and we realized this bird probably didn’t have much of a chance anyway. Brandon took the sad responsibility of putting the bird out of its misery and that was the end of that. Poor bird.